One Four Three

I miss you.

 

Your hands on mine, your arms around me, your lips against mine.

 

I miss your messages that would just throw me laughing out of the blue. I miss seeing your small eyes, your amazing nose, your wonderful smile.

 

I miss holding your hand. I miss hugging you. I miss kissing you.

 

I miss talking to you in the oddest hours of the day that would make me feel like I’m floating up in the clouds and nothing else matters.

 

I miss sleeping beside you – watching you close your eyes and dream about whatever is in your subconscious mind. I miss staring at your long attractive eyelashes that actually do nothing but prettify your face even more.

 

I miss looking forward and planning the next weekends with you.

 

I wish it didn’t have to be this hard.

 

I wish you miss those things too.

Forever

I have probably seen one of the most beautiful things that life could ever make visible to the naked eye.

 

I have witnessed love, companionship, caring, and fidelity in a single gesture (okay fine… not that single).

 

I was at the church when there were two old women a few rows in front of me. One was wearing a blouse and a skirt, the other wearing a shirt and a pair of shorts matched with rubber shoes. At first glance you would think they’re probably the best of friends or something. The sun started to shine really bad and the sunlight was crazy. I saw that the light was bugging the old woman wearing a shirt and pair of shorts. The woman wearing a skirt tapped her friend’s back and nape and used an abaniko to cover those parts. The woman in shirt and shorts held the hand of the woman in skirt and said something inaudible. The woman in skirt whispered back and waved her hand away, still trying to shield the nape/back of the other woman from the sunlight using the abaniko. The woman wearing shirt and shorts also tapped the back of the woman in skirt. In those few seconds of just watching them, it dawned to me that this is just not friendship – this is a relationship wherein they have decided to share their lives with each other.

 

You see I, myself, have also envisioned myself to grow old with someone. With our years of being together, it was inevitable. Then all those dreams and plans had to stop because it just had to be done. Then came new people in my life that I have also envisioned myself growing old with. Personally, I don’t get involved with people that I can never see myself growing old with. What is the point of the relationship if you’re just going to fool around and enjoy it for a little while? Why not invest in it and see where it takes you in the long run and have a meaningful life with that person?

 

But what actually matters is the present – not how you should react on it so the future will be better but how you should currently be so everything will be fine at that exact moment. I love planning the future, yes, but I have learned to take steps one at a time.

 

Going back to the story, I was still apprehensive if they actually were a couple. Fortunately I saw them again in the bathroom and what I saw affirmed my theory – the woman wearing shorts was escorting the woman wearing a skirt get out of the cubicle and when they’re finally out of the slippery bathroom, they held hands and the woman in skirt put her head on the other woman’s shoulder. My smile could have reached the top of my head if it could.

 

It’s so nice to know that they have each other for eternity. The forever they will face is filled with love and companionship. I hope I discover the formula for forever.

Reversible

Hi! I’m Elle, and I eat my cupcakes upside down.

Hi! I’m Yna, and I could take you out to dinner.

 

Hi, where are you? I’m in front of Flap Jacks, with my best friend. Can’t wait to see you!

Hello, hold on. I’m still inside the cab. 5 minutes!

 

Hey. Can’t wait to see you on Monday. We’ll make it count, yes?

Hell yeah we will. I want to watch you laugh already.

 

See you tomorrow! Can you leave your place at 8? I’ll pick you up at the terminal. Black Hyundai. I had a really great time. Can I never let go of your hand ever?

Sure, no problem. Your lips were the sweetest I have ever tasted.

 

I can’t believe I’m going months without seeing you.

I can’t believe I’m going months without seeing those chinky little eyes of yours.

 

Hi. I’m in San Diego now. Lots of layovers before getting to Naples. I’ve been thinking a lot about you. I wrote you a letter.

Aww. That’s so sweet. Damn, I’ve just had the best orgasm ever. Thanks to you.

 

How’s Naples?

I currently have this huge-ass room. I wish you were here. So cold. Wish I were hugging you right now.

 

Would you be my girlfriend?

I thought you would never ask.

 

Baby?

Yes, mahal ko?

 

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know. I don’t want to drag you into my crap. I don’t want to give half-ass effort either. You don’t deserve that.

You’re breaking up with me?

 

Why are you an idiot?

Because I let you go. You, the most amazing woman I’ve ever dated. You are someone I know I can spend the rest of my life with. I’m an idiot for breaking up with you.

 

I’ve missed you.

I’ve missed you too.

 

I guess we’re back to not talking?

 

I set aside the photo that you like. Decided I won’t sell it anymore. I’ll just give it to you.

Thanks. Appreciate that.

 

I love you.

I love you.

 

Please don’t leave me.

I’m sorry.

The intimate and peculiar ramblings of a penman.