She doesn’t know how drawn she is towards her. Her feelings are clouded everywhere and she doesn’t even know that her feelings for her just keep growing and growing each day.
“You really like her, no?”
“Well, since you noticed it, I probably do. What’s bothering me is I don’t even notice how much I like her already.”
She had suffered heartaches, short-term happiness, and shattered promises. She enjoys relationships as much as she enjoys ramen. She loves sex as much as she loves making out.
“Just don’t rush.”
“No, none of that. Just that – all my pent-up feelings are now rushing to me. I know how to deal with my feelings but I just don’t know how to deal with her. I want to keep her but would she want the same?”
“Haha. You really like her so much. Haven’t seen you like this before.”
“Should I be scared?”
She has been wanting to feel the warmth of her hands clasped with hers ever since after that first meeting. She found out how she could keep her warm during the cold, how she could cook for her when she’s hungry, or bring her home when she’s too tired from work. She figured she can take care of her and would enjoy every bit of it.
“But are you ready?”
“I guess I’ll never know if I don’t try? I’m sure of one thing – she’s worth it. And I’m more than willing to take that chance because quoting Haruki Murakami, ‘…you don’t get chances like this very often.’ “
Endless possibilities, boundless probabilities – that’s what’s currently on hand.
She decides to go ahead and play all the cards she has in her hand.